Why “New year New me” doesn’t work?

We are pushed to do different things every day, by people closest to us, by public opinion or by society. If you’re not living as a hermit in the middle of nowhere, then if you like it or not, you are a part of the larger entity. That’s why it is so hard to find your own voice, your own space and things that work for you. That’s why we often do things that make us miserable – just because everyone else is doing them.

I don’t like do things on demand or have fun when I’m not in the mood. I don’t like to pretend that I like or respect someone that I really don’t like or respect.  And I definitely don’t like to do things that someone tell me to do without understanding why I should do them. That’s why changing on demand won’t work either, never ever, n e v e r r r r.

Fake it till you make it

Fake it until you make it, right? Well, I don’t know about you, but it’s not working for me. Each time I commit to something that I don’t really want to do, I’ll drop it the first chance I get and go back to my default state. I bet the same is with you. Therefore if you make your New Year’s resolutions just for the sake of making them, stop. Drop it and do something that you’ll enjoy instead.

Are we doomed to fail?

So is change possible, or are we doomed to fail? The good news is: everything’s possible. It’s where it starts that matters, which is a reason why some New Years resolutions won’t work.

I’ve been making a New Years resolutions for the past few years. I write them down in my notes or on Wunderlist and I usually forget about them. Funny thing, when I look at them at the end of the year, I’m stunned how many of them I’ve actually accomplished. It’s like 90% of success. I’m surprised and happy at the same time.

Why people feel the need to make resolutions?

We want to be happy. And we are happy when we are healthy or have people around that love us. When we feel secure and we have the freedom to do what we want. If we are already happy, there’s always some room for improvement, right? 🙂 It’s easy to make some changes when you have a clean slate so the beginning of the year is a perfect time. You close one chapter and start another. That’s why most New Year’s resolutions look like this:

• I’ll quit smoking – gain: health + freedom + money
• I’ll start going to the gym – gain: health + fitness + love
• I’ll eat less sweets – gain: health
• I’ll travel more  – gain: freedom
• I’ll learn new skill – gain: self esteem + money

But if you don’t understand why you need to do this things and what you’ll gain in the end, these will feel like daily chores that no one wants to do. And it will be very hard, if not impossible, to keep those resolutions. So let’s think how to solve this!

Think of something that will make you happy. Now name your resolution, just one if you feel overwhelmed, and break it into few small and achievable steps.  Make a list and write it down to make it real – this part is very important.

Take the first step right away

What would be the first step? The thing that take the least effort to accomplish, but it will get you moving. For example: If you want to start exercise more, get your exercise clothes ready, pack your gym bag now so it will be waiting for you when you decide to go to the gym. You didn’t break the sweat, but you already started. See? It’s easy!

One of mine new year’s resolutions is to get fit and spend more time hiking on weekends 🙂 In other words more work-life balance <3 I’m already loving the idea 🙂

I wonder what you came up with this year, so if you want to share some of your resolutions  and make them real by writing them down in public, do it! Share your thoughts in the comments.